if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize