Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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