:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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