i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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