Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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