I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
if i died would you start the facebook group?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Randomize
