He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
