I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
can u get pink eye on your cock?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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