well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize
