check it out our google latitudes are spooning
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize