You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
