you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
