he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize