Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
