i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Randomize
