No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
