Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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