Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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