Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
