my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize