i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
