$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
