I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
