u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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