I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
