Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
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