If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
