the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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