There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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