Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
