Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize