i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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