Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
