1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Dear god my vagina.
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