apparently the secret to your success is patron
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
