I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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