but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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