So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
It's blow job season.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
