matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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