...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
