Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize