So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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