Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
