HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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