Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
