C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
