bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
4 words: hood of his car
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize