She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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