remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
