dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
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He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
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How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.