You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.