The maid of honor just puked.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences