We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
