im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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