Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
