There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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