If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Randomize
