EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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