we're blogging at a bar
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I am one with the molecules
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Randomize
