This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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