At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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